It’s December, and it’s finally below 10 degrees outside, so I can spend my nights lying under a blanket on my sofa, staring unblinkingly at my Christmas tree with a little content (bordering on creepy) smile on my face. I mean, that’s just textbook cozy stuff right there.
Christmas is certainly one of Christianity’s better traditions even if some of it is sorta reminiscent of paganism. Which doesn’t really matter to me ’cause any form of religious worship scares me. But, what the hell, this year I’m gonna embrace Christmas in all of its commercial glory. In fact, I’m currently listening to ‘Stop the Cavalry‘ by John Lewis which is playing on Christmas FM. For realz. I mean, could I be anymore of a Christmas dork? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way, cause no one reads this blog so I don’t really expect an answer.
Moving on swiftly, Christmas is just a bigger deal this year than it has been during previous years. Like, for as long as I can remember, that excited Christmas-y feeling has always been intermingled with the the absolute stress and dread of January exams. Let me tell you, nothing quite kills the Christmas spirit like the impending doom of having to face that overdue philosophical assignment on the nature of being qua, fucking, being.
But, NOT THIS YEAR. This year, I graduated so they can’t make me take January exams any more or force me to ponder the answers to questions much wiser people than I have already failed to answer. This year, I get to enjoy Christmas the way I’ve always dreamed I could. And basically, since I’ve been really into being nostalgic for the present this year, that means I’m gonna do things like savour all those special little Christmas-y moments. Like these late nights spent in my sitting room with a cat at my feet and a lit up tree in the corner (and electricity bills be damned).
My ability to enjoy Christmas this year is partly related to my approximation to glittery, glow-y things and partly to my incredibly cool job. I, ladies and gentlemen, am spending this festive season working part-time in a cinema (because that’s what you do when you’ve graduated with an Arts degree). I’m putting my really vague ambitions on hold and I’m living my life as I want to. Which means sleeping in, getting paid minimum wage for a cleaning job and spending large quantities of time in the cinema. Okay, so it’s not exactly thrilling but the peace is welcome. Sometimes it seems that people are running after their dreams and past their realities missing their own lives in the pursuit of their future happiness. I’m not a patient person though, I’ve slaved away for three long years and I’ve ended up somewhere I never thought I’d be. So, I’m going to live in the now and spend hours picking out the perfect but inexpensive Christmas presents for my friends and family. I’m going to blog and think about my life and sing along to seemingly joyful Christmas carols even if the lyrics directly translate to ‘and if the Holy Jesus has not been born all of humanity would be in hell right now’.
So to recap, ’tis the season to be jolly because I’m taking a year out from life and losing myself in those small, beautiful little moments that I’m afraid I’ll regret not appreciating when I’m on my deathbed. I can see the memories of this time of my life will be triggered by the lyrics ‘that kind of lux just ain’t for us, we crave a different kind of buzz’ from that Lorde song. I will be able to visualise myself writing this blog but the memory will have a blurred, hazy quality to it like an out of focus photograph of fairy lights.
Merry Christmas reader!