I’ve liked the word ‘liminality’ since my European Studies professor first described it’s meaning a few years ago. I’m not a hundred percent sure that it’s a real word that is actually recognised by the likes of the Oxford Dictionary. But sure, fuck it, I’m pretty sure ‘derp’ isn’t recognised either but that word is known across the whole wide web.
My lecturer was a tall, hippie man who spoke in a strong accent that I could never really place. He used to unnecessarily elongate his words in order to add emphasis to whatever he was saying. It got my attention. Or rather I couldn’t not pay attention to a forty-something year old man who wore bright coloured cords and seemed to have a fetish for large Hawaiian shirts.
Anyway, he first introduced me to the word ‘liminal’ during one of the first few lectures when he was trying to get us to critically assess Let The Right One In. He really wanted to bring attention to the theme of in betweeness evident throughout that (rather depressing) movie. Basically, the movie is about the relationship between a creepy kid vampire (who doesn’t sparkle) and a regular boy. The little vampire girl is pretty much stuck in that awkward stage between childhood and adolescence. He also used to elongate the word ‘undead’ until it sounded like ‘uuuhhhn-deeeaad’. I’m sure you get it just like we got it it. The film has liminality and in betweeness pouring out of its ass. Anyway, the lonely little boy kind takes a liking to her because she accepts him where his peers reject him. And there’s some other hardcore shit that goes down but basically my professor tried to get us to focus on the whole liminal state of being and the implications it would have.
Which is kinda funny because our college course was one of those year long courses that help students transition from secondary /high school to college if they fucked up in their exams. So really, the entire class were caught in this transitional state where we were sort of in college but still disciplined by our lectures in the same way our old teachers used to. At least, we didn’t have arranged seating.
But the idea of liminality has come into my mind again because I feel like I’m at this stage in my life where I’m almost transitioning to a new way of living. I mean, for the past few months I’ve just been living life day by day. I go to work in my not very stressful part-time job where I scoop ice cream and think about what when I’m going to get to kiss that boy I like. I’ve been staying up late looking at various pictures of silly looking animals on Imgur. Or else, I hang out with my friends and talk about meaningless shite and watch Girls. It’s all been very enjoyable but it’s been a like a bit of a break from real life. I knew that I’d have to go back to the real world where I could do something socially acceptable with my life. Even if its only so I stop dreading the question ‘what are you doing with yourself/life/why don’t you get a real job if you have a third level education?’.
Anyway, I had one of those spur of the moment productive ideas where I decided that I was ready to try my hand at getting a decent job. Or an internship of some sort. So, I walked to my local library and sent some cvs to a few random places I saw were looking for staff. And got an interview. And got offered an internship. Within a week of deciding to get my life on track. The fuck just happened?
So, now I’ve got about one week until I start this new gig. With a few days off from my other job. I feel like I’m floating between the life I’ve been living and the one I’m about to live. I feel like I’m at the edge of becoming a different kind of person. This is career defining type of shit. If this works out then I could probably get a job, that pays a reasonable wage. A wage where I could afford to buy a toothbrush on a monthly basis. Because, ladies and gentlemen, that is the dream.